Children of Divorce
Reading the Department of Justice, Canada “overview of the risks & protectors for children of separation & divorce” it appears the majority of information is at least 10 years old or older. Controversial to say the least! In my personal opinion divorce or separation is not the key factor in the “standard” well-being of children.
All children are affected by the quality of parenting. When there’s a lack of love, financial stability and consistency tensions run high. Any time there’s a focus on what’s lacking, instead of what to be grateful for, there’s conflict.
When children feel they are responsible in any way, shape or form for the adversity within the family unit they suffer. Genuine self confidence, not ego is essential for a child to thrive. Feeling loved for who they are that allows them to have self-worth instead of self-doubt. I think we’d all agree that when we’re confident about our self and our abilities there’s nothing stopping us from being magnificent. Confidence goes a long way in achieving success!
Consistency and routine give a feeling of stability that children need. Often what separation or divorce affects is a disruption in the general consistency, rules and routine. When parents can come together (even after divorce) for the health and well-being of their children and set aside their differences during the separation process the children can recover and even thrive. If there’s been a lot of arguing, unbalanced parenting or considerable negative energy pre-divorce and after divorce the custodial parent is consistent, more at peace and focused after divorce, then the children will likely recover quickly.
With divorce so common it’s not so much the act of separation or divorce that matters, but the effectiveness of parenting. When battles continue after divorce and children are lost in the process they will suffer. When separation or divorce is handled maturely, effectively and lovingly the results can definitely be positive. We model what we learn. Make a conscious deliberate decision to stop what you don’t feel good about and change. Communicate consistently with your children. Discuss and design new empowering systems to work together as a family even after divorce.
If you’re currently going through the process of divorce, know that their is support and help for you. There are numerous resources available, many you can find under the “resource” tab on this website. Life coaching is definitely a beneficial process that can empower you to live happy after divorce. Check out the coaching tab as well or contact me by email at firstname.lastname@example.org and go to the ‘my book‘ tab if you have children and would like to get my book for free.