What Happened? This is likely a question you ask yourself over and over again after divorce.
You thought you had a great relationship, the home, the kids, the pets, financial security. Where did it all go wrong?
I can’t tell you what happened, or where it began going wrong, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I don’t mean you are not alone statistically (over 50% divorce rate), I mean that there are millions of single parents wondering the same things you are.
The lonely feelings after divorce are normal, like any big adjustment in our life it takes time to heal and re-organize our life. If you have moved, lost a job, changed careers, lost a loved one to death, had a miscarriage, even split up in a relationship when you were younger, the feelings of loss and heartbreak can be overwhelming. The pain feels like it will never leave, your energy is drained, and the enthusiasm for the activities you normally enjoy is gone. You find your friends are either in your face, or ignoring you. Let me tell you again: you are not alone.
This may be the first time in your life where you are confused about how to find help. The legal costs and emotional pressure in regards to your children and extended family may seem too difficult to handle. DO NOT procrastinate in reaching out for help!
It is not a sign of weakness to ask for support, a shoulder to cry on, financial aide, time to yourself, time off work. You need to assess your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health here and now.
If you are parenting you need to address the concerns of your children. Their emotional stress and the questions they have welling up within them need to be handled effectively. Parenting responsibilities may increase significantly with the custodial parent after divorce, depending on the pre-divorce situation. Becoming pro-active with the needs of your children can reduce or at the least lessen any behavioral problems in the future.
You may need assistance setting up a budget and assessing your income status. Depending on your career and income and even who was the bookkeeper had previously been will need a review. Organizing your debts, monthly expenses, assets, changing bank accounts, address changes, etc. can become overwhelming.
You may need professional guidance with the legal system. Depending on the area in which you live and your financial situation can sometimes determine the quality of assistance you get in a timely manner.
Get help now, save yourself the anguish, additional work, and likely additional expense by taking the necessary action now.
Before you know it the “What Happened” won’t matter, and you will be moving forward with a crystal clear vision and rock solid foundation to create a better, healthier, happier life.
There is help for all of this. There are programs set up to assist you in each of these areas. My goal as a life coach is to provide you with specific solutions to all your questions, as well as support you with the emotional healing after divorce. I will provide products specific to divorce that may help you obtain the best information available.