Letting go after divorce
June 1, 2011 by Wendy MacKay
Filed under Healing After Divorce, Parenting
At what point do you just let go after divorce? The emotional over whelm can become life consuming with legal issues, child custody battles and financial transitioning. What about the feelings of loss?
How and when do you let go of it all?
Divorce, we know, affects everyone involved. It’s not just the couple who were once in love, but children, parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers, teachers, anyone who cares about the people involved. Anger, frustration, feeling deceived or just plain hurting to the core has a ripple effect on all actions after divorce. Yet when in the middle of this chaos how or when can you make the decision to let go of what was, and move forward with, what can be?
All circumstances are different, there are no two situations alike just as there are no two fingerprints alike. Each of us is unique and who we have become is the result of our life as we have lived it. No other person has the ability to feel what another feels. We may think we can relate to similar feelings, but we are not exactly the same. To criticize, judge, condemn or ridicule another person only emphasizes a lack of compassion and understanding. Each of us recover from painful emotional experiences in our own way. So how do you know when it’s time to stop hurting and start living happy again? How can others affected help the one’s who are suffering?
As conscious deliberate creators the choices we make are 100% our responsibility. Taking ownership for what we allow or don’t allow affect how we live is liberating. Accepting the consequences for our choices may not always be what we want, but the decision is ours to make.
As parents we think we are protecting our children by fighting for custody and looking out for what we believe is in their best interest. Is this true? Are your children in physical danger? Are your decisions being made on behalf of them, or are they the result of your own personal emotional chaos? Only you know the right answer.
If you come to the right time when you feel you want to let go of the past and embrace the future don’t be afraid to reach out for help. The learned beliefs from your previous experiences may not allow you to gain a different perspective without #1- you being willing to change, #2 – having a completely opposite point of view pointed out to you.
You can live with joy in your life. Love and laughter doesn’t belong to only certain people, it is for all to enjoy. Changing you thoughts, habits, and actions one step at a time will change the results.
Letting go after divorce is a choice that requires action.


